I don’t like thugs, I don’t like nerds,
I don’t like myself and I hate bein’ disturbed.
Sean Price, “Critically Acclaimed,” from Statik Selektah’s 100 Proof (The Hangover), 2010
Tag: humor
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I want a girl with extensions in her hair,
Bamboo earrings, at least two pair,
A Fendi bag and a bad attitude,
That’s all I need to get me in a good mood.
She can walk with a switch and talk with street slang,
I love it when a woman ain’t scared to do her thing.LL Cool J, “Around the Way Girl,” Mama Said Knock You Out, 1990 -
Once in awhile, I’mma cheat and get dome,
But best believe that I’mma always come home.
Shorty, I luv you.Meyhem Lauren, “Let’s Hold Hands,” Respect The Fly Shit, 2012 -
Type to tote the glock and use gats…
You the type to vote Barack cause dude’s black.Sean P, “Grown Man Palettes,” from Meyhem Lauren’s Respect The Fly Shit, 2012 -
Your reign on the top was short like leprechauns,
As I crush so-called Willies, thugs, and rapper-dons.The Notorious B.I.G., “Kick in the Door,” Life After Death, 1997 -
Why’s my name the Large Professor?
Cause I milked your cow, in other words I hit your heifer.Large Professor, “Live at the Barbecue,” from Main Source’s Breaking Atoms, 1991 -
Scared of a bunch of water? Then get out the rain.
Order a rapper for lunch, and spit out the chain.MF Doom, “Sofa King,” from Danger Doom’s The Mouse and the Mask, 2005 -
And when I smiled, ‘Bing!’ I almost blinded her.
She said, ‘Great Scot, are you a thief?
Seems like you have a mouth full of gold teeth!’
Hahahaha, had to find that funny,
So I said, ‘No child, I work hard for the money.
And calling me a thief? Please…don’t even try it,
Sit down, eat your slice of pizza, and be quiet.’Slick Rick, “Mona Lisa,” The Great Adventures of Slick Rick, 1988 -
I got a ill gift, I’m real swift
They be like, ‘Damn, he’s still rich.’
When I send my Men in Black,
Listen, none of them niggas named Will Smith.Cam’ron, “60 Rackz (Remix)”, 2012 -
I show more blind rage than Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles wrestling in a steel cage.
Chino XL, “Freestyle Rhymes,” Here to Save You All, 1996 -
I don’t like a girl that be hanging with a slut crew,
I can’t sport a female who’s crossed-eyed with a buck tooth.
I need a female I can sport when I’m outdoors.
I’m not choosy…I got a rep to look out for.Lord Finesse, “I Like My Girls With a Boom,” Return of the Funky Man, 1992 -
EPMD in effect, I’m clockin’ mad green
Like Kermit the Frog, sloppy like Boss Hog,
Girl was runnin’ wild…ate her like a corn dog.Parrish Smith, “Chill,” from EPMD’s Business Never Personal, 1992 -
Ayo, the arm bone connected to the hand bone,
Nigga, the hand bone connected to the damn chrome!Sean P, “Don’t You Cross the Line,” from Boot Camp Clik’s The Last Stand, 2006 -
Fuck the car, I do a muthafuckin’ walk-by.
Eazy-E, “The Grand Finale,” from The D.O.C.’s No One Can Do It Better, 1989