The IRS’ll never sweat me or even put up a fight…
Cause I’m sure I’ve paid more in taxes than you’ve made in yo’ life!

Ludacris, “Large Amounts,” The Red Light District, 2004. More Ludacris quotes…

I make niggas eat dirt and fart dust,
Then give you a $80 gift certificate to Pussies “Я” Us.

Ludacris, “Mouthing Off,” Back for the First Time, 2000

Fuck a medic, we gon’ call yo ass a taxi cab,
Bleedin’ so hard you need a life-size maxi pad.

Ludacris, “We Got,” Chicken-N-Beer, 2003 

Watch out for the medallion, my diamonds are reckless,
Feels like a midget is hangin from my necklace!

Ludacris, “Stand Up,” Chicken-N-Beer, 2003

I told her, “I got the chips if you got the dip.”
She said when I dip, that I better be equipped
and keep my hand on her hips…

Ludacris, “Be With You,” from David Banner & 9th Wonder’s Death of a Pop Star, 2010

Nas • “I Do It for Hip-Hop” • 2008

They say I’m so low key, I’m socially awkward,
Only those that really know me are the ones that I talk with.
They smile in the light, hate in the dark,
You call it beef, to me it’s just a fuckin’ walk in the park.

– Nas, “I Do It for Hip-Hop,” from Ludacris’ Theater of the Mind, 2008

You see y’all got it all wrong like women in tuxedos,
And comin’ up shorter than five Danny DeVitos.
I’m on a cool ranch…get laid more than Fritos,
With five strippers, four wives and three amigos.
I go scuba divin’ in Bays at Montego,
I find gold links and snatch ‘em like I’m Deebo.
But I’m the light-skindeded version of Mandingo,
I’ve seen more Beatles and Jagged Edges than Ringo,
I used to run numbers in line they called me ‘Bingo.’

Ludacris, “Coming 2 America,” Word of Mouf, 2001. More from Luda…