I’m on some satanic shit, strictly.
Little kids be wakin up cryin, yellin,
‘Mommy, Big L is comin to get me!’
Tag: humor
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Big L, “Danger Zone,” Lifestylez Ov Da Poor & Dangerous, 1995
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I’m from back then, bro, when the phrase was “fresh.”
…When Michael Jackson’s nose looked like KRS.Breeze Brewin, “30 Something,” from The Juggaknots’ Use Your Confusion, 2006 -
You ain’t a gangsta, you a bitch with a beat.
Rhymefest, “More,” Blue Collar, 2006 -
When I die, bury me butt naked and face down in the grass
So I can fuck the world while y’all kiss my assRas Kass, “Bentleys & Bitches,” from Beatminerz Brace 4 Impak, 2001 -
You can’t take the heat, get ya ass out the kitchen
Matter fact, take ya ass back in there and wash the dishesRoyce Da 5’9", “Deadly Melody,” from Black Milk’s Album of the Year, 2010 -
I smoke the holy herb, get high as hell and meditate.
Swear to God, shit’s so good…fat boy’ll levitate.
God’s gift to man, how the fuck they try to legislate?
Mom’s, she recovering, tell me I overmedicate.
I tell her, “Holy fuck, Jesus Christ, give me a fucking break!”
She said, “Don’t curse your mama, goddammit,” and threw a dinner plate.Killer Mike, “Oh Mama,” from Run the Jewel’s RTJ3, 2016
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…That’s when you start to stare at who’s in the mirror,
And see yourself as a kid again, and you get embarrassed.
And I got nothin’ to do but make you look stupid as parents,
You fuckin’ do-gooders; too bad you couldn’t do good at marriage!Eminem, “Renegade,” from Jay-Z’s The Blueprint, 2001
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Used to have a crush on Dawn from En Vogue.
It’s not like honey dip would wanna get with me,
But just in case I own more condoms than TLC.Phife Dawg, “Oh My God,” from A Tribe Called Quest’s Midnight Maruaders, 1993. Rest in forever peace, Malik Taylor, the rapper known as Phife Dawg, who died Wednesday at the age of 45. 1970-2016. -
I’m so def, I need a hearing aid with an equalizer.
Big L, “Yes You May (Remix),” 1992 -
Why fuck with these cornball rappers when you can have the real thing?
Lord Finesse, “The Rhythm,” from Bas Blasta’s The Rhythm 12″, 1995. More from the L-O-R-D-F-I-N-E-double-S-E -
I heard you rhyme a few times, each time you blew it.
You’re soft, you can’t go off, I knew it.
Let’s be realistic, I’m not egotistic;
But you, your crew…just not that artistic.
Point blank: your song stank.
I know you want the truth, so let’s be frank.Chill Rob G, “Let the Words Flow,” Ride the Rhythm, 1989. -
And when I smiled, ‘Bing!’ I almost blinded her.
She said, ‘Great Scot, are you a thief?
Seems like you have a mouth full of gold teeth!’
Hahahaha, had to find that funny,
So I said, ‘No child, I work hard for the money.
And calling me a thief? Please…don’t even try it,
Sit down, eat your slice of pizza, and be quiet.’Slick Rick, “Mona Lisa,” The Great Adventures of Slick Rick, 1988