My new shorty got a gymnastic back,
‘87 emerald green on a classic Jag.
She had the cleft palate, I ordered chef’s salad;
She had the club foot, with that little arm,
I couldn’t help but laugh…she ordered Chicken Parm.

Action Bronson, “NaNa,” from Chance The Rapper’s Acid Rap, 2013

City lights shine bright on my complexion,
Self-reflection…red hairs flashing at the intersection.
Life is a green light, one star, no script,
Supporting actors…fresh peaches, no pit.

Action Bronson, “Randy The Musical,” Rare Chandeliers, 2012

Shoot eagles on the Jack Nicklaus course,
Porsche with the triple exhaust,
Seats soft like a midget’s cough…

Action Bronson, “Midget Cough,” from Mick Boogie’s Represent the Stripes, 2012

Linguine linguistics that left my verbal essence saucy,
Send a message, leave you sleepin’ next to headless horsey.

Action Bronson, “Terror Death Camp,” from Action Bronson and Statik Selektah’s Well Done, 2011

I hope you get a paper cut on your tongue
From a razor in a paper cup.
I hope every soda you drink’s already shaken up.
I hope your dreams dry like raisins in the baking sun.
I hope your titties’ all saggy in your early 20s.
I hope there’s always snow in your driveway.
I hope you never get off Fridays…
And you work at a Friday’s that’s always busy on Fridays.

Chance the Rapper, “Baby Blue,” from Action Bronson’s Mr. Wonderful, 2015. More from Chance…

I’m just a bastard with a bad habit,
Bad back, in a black Volkswagen Rabbit
…Shit, I gotta have it.
Black magic woman put a spell on me;
Fuck around and win a spelling bee.
I could walk under ladders, still win the lotto.
Ten minutes flat: built a boat in a bottle.

Action Bronson, “Galactic Love,” Mr. Wonderful, 2015. More from Bronsolini…