I can drink a whole Hennessy fifth.
Some call that a problem, but I call it a gift.

Xzibit, “Get Your Walk On,” Restless, 2000

I chop ‘em into salad and my name ain’t Caesar.

Black Thought, “@15,” from The Roots’ Rising Down, 2008

Step to this and get shanked up,
I knocked out so many teeth, the tooth fairy went bankrupt.

Big L, “Let ‘Em Have it L,” Lifestyles Ov Da Poor and Dangerous, 1995

‘You claim to be the man, you want me for a lover,
So you can do my girlfriends and my sister and my mother?’

I said, ‘You’re very blunt,’ with quickness to the cue,
‘So whassup with your mother, does she look as good as you?’

Dres, “Similac Child,” from Black Sheep’s A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing, 1991

My mama didn’t see it comin, my daddy was there.
What’s my excuse? Cartoons were the root.
Started with Yosemite Sam
With the gun in the palm of the hand,
What couldn’t I demand?

Pusha T, “Young Boy,” from The Clipse’s Lord Willin’, 2002

I don’t know what’s better: getting laid or getting paid.
I just know when I’m getting one, the other’s getting away.

Kanye West, “This Way,” from Dilated Peoples’ Neighborhood Watch, 2004

You stackin cheddar cause you working at the burger place.

Inspectah Deck, “It’s Raw,” CZARFACE, 2013

You can tell by the rhyme it’s my time to shine;
Let’s eat, motherfucker, I don’t dine on swine.
I don’t beef with turkeys, I told you the God’ll fold you,
Hard to digest: I suggest that you take tofu.

Sean Price, “Like You,” Jesus Price Superstar, 2007

Couldn’t you see me and you stretched out in a bikini on the beach in Tahiti?
See, me, I’m very selective even though I could be greedy;
My main objective is to write our names together in graffiti.

Pharoahe Monch, “Shugah Shorty,” from Organized Konfusion’s The Equinox, 1997

I’m givin’ more flat lines to niggas than loose-leaf.

Kool G. Rap, “Go For Your Guns,” from Kool G. Rap and DJ Polo’s Live and Let Die, 1992

I don’t get pat down, you know what’s on the waist,
I don’t mean Jazz when I say I “count base.”
Fly Louis sneakers, Purple Tape coming out the speakers,
Bumped into my high school teachers,
They said I wouldn’t be nothing, sitting on the bleachers.
Now I’m sitting in the Phantom, trynna figure out the features.
I’m a big fish now, I watch for the leeches.

Sheek Louch, “Pour tha Martini,” from Wu-Block, 2012

You got game like me? I doubt it.
They say pimping ain’t easy…what’s so hard about it?

A.G., “Fat for the 90’s,” from Lord Finesse’s Return of the Funky Man, 1992

Even when I say nothing, it’s a beautiful use of negative space.

El-P, “The Fire In Which You Burn,” from Company Flow’s Funcrusher Plus, 1997

My limo driver’s white, my attorney black…
‘Show me some love’ like I’m Bernie Mac.

Masta Ace, “Good Ol Love,” Long Hot Summer, 2004

Picture yourself crushin’ Xzibit with your tough talk?
That’s like Christopher Reeve doing the crip walk.

Xzibit, “3 Card Molly,” 40 Days and 40 Nightz, 1998

Wake up: all of that ‘crack in the street’ talk?
It’s made up, like ‘Jack and the Beanstalk.’

Sean Price, “Pyrex,” Mic Tyson, 2012

Put your hands where I can see ‘em, so they look like 12 PM
On the dot, see this Glock? Don’t make me give these shells freedom.

Elzhi, “Hands Up,” The Preface, 2008

You know that one auntie, you don’t wanna be rude,
…But every holiday, nobody eatin’ her food.

Kanye West, “Family Business,” The College Dropout, 2004

Age ain’t nothing but a number, that’s what Chi-Ali said.
OK, then why don’t you get that through the judge’s head?

Biz Markie, “Young Girl Bluez,” All Samples Cleared!, 1993

You can do all them push-ups to pump up your chest,
I got a 12 gauge Mossberg to pump up your chest,
Have you gasping for air after that shell hit your vest.
Fear me like you fear God, ‘cause I bring death.

50 Cent, “We All Die One Day,” from Obie Trice’s Cheers, 2003 

If you’re having world problems, I feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems, but a Mitt ain’t one.

Jay-Z, “99 Problems,” from Barack Obama campaign rally in Columbus, Ohio, 2012. Voter Info (Google)

Little brats yellin ‘Trick or Treat’ all through my screen door,
When y’all should be at home sleep,
Instead of at my front porch 15 deep.
The jack o’ lantern came in handy…
I can turn my porch light out like I ain’t got no candy.
But ain’t that somethin?
You buy a Halloween costume and a pumpkin,
Almost gave your children a heart attack.
It’s a tradition, but who the hell started that?

Kam, “Holiday Madness,” Neva Again, 1993

People say, ‘Grimm, you’ve been shot like 50.
So why don’t you just rhyme like 50?
Then, you could get the money like 50,
Otherwise, before you see success…you’ll be 50.’

MF Grimm, “Boing,” American Hunger, 2006

Footballs, basketballs, microphones, gas and grass…
Just some of the few things that J-Ro likes to pass.

J-Ro of Tha Alkaholiks, “Freestyle Ghetto,” from King Tee’s IV Life, 1995

Your new CD is a weed plate, nothin’ but love songs,
100% pure garbage, just something to break up buds on.

Jadakiss, “Checkmate,” 12", 2005

The God’s tropical…ladies call me ‘Black Fruit Punch.’

Ghostface Killah, “Ice Water,” from Raekwon’s Only Built 4 Cuban Linx, 1995

I bumped into Loon, he like ‘Well, As Salaam-Alaikum.’
You know I ain’t Muslim, my nigga, I’m about my bacon!

Ma$e, “Higher,” from Kanye West Presents G.O.O.D. Music: Cruel Summer, 2012

I scored 1.1 on my SAT,
And still push a whip with a right and left AC.

Redman, “Blackout,” from Method Man and Redman’s Blackout!, 1999

You’re a trivial part in a trivia game.
Now what’s your aim? A presidential campaign?
Like Ross Perot? He lost it though…
But he got a billion in tha bank fo’ sho’!

Aceyalone, “All Balls Don’t Bounce,” from All Balls Don’t Bounce, 1995

Now what Clan you know with lines this ill?
Bust shots at Big Ben, like we got time to kill.

Method Man, “Protect Ya Neck (The Jump Off),” from Wu-Tang Clan’s The W, 2000

You’s a nigga everybody diss, cause you can’t bust this,
You got a bad name like Dick Butkus.

J-Ro, “The Next Level,” from Tha Alkaholiks’ Coast II Coast, 1995

Putting styles on lock, and making beats by the bundle,
Scooping more props than Bryant Gumbel…and staying humble.

Pete Rock, “Escape,” from Pete Rock & CL Smooth’s The Main Ingredient, 1994

You’re mad cause my style you’re admiring…
Don’t be mad, UPS is hiring.

The Notorious B.I.G., “Flava In Ya Ear (Remix),” 12", 1994

I don’t like thugs, I don’t like nerds,
I don’t like myself and I hate bein’ disturbed.

Sean Price, “Critically Acclaimed,” from Statik Selektah’s 100 Proof (The Hangover), 2010

I want a girl with extensions in her hair,
Bamboo earrings, at least two pair,
A Fendi bag and a bad attitude,
That’s all I need to get me in a good mood.
She can walk with a switch and talk with street slang,
I love it when a woman ain’t scared to do her thing.

LL Cool J, “Around the Way Girl,” Mama Said Knock You Out, 1990

Once in awhile, I’mma cheat and get dome,
But best believe that I’mma always come home.
Shorty, I luv you.

Meyhem Lauren, “Let’s Hold Hands,” Respect The Fly Shit, 2012

Type to tote the glock and use gats…
You the type to vote Barack cause dude’s black.

Sean P, “Grown Man Palettes,” from Meyhem Lauren’s Respect The Fly Shit, 2012

Your reign on the top was short like leprechauns,
As I crush so-called Willies, thugs, and rapper-dons.

The Notorious B.I.G., “Kick in the Door,” Life After Death, 1997

Why’s my name the Large Professor?
Cause I milked your cow, in other words I hit your heifer.

Large Professor, “Live at the Barbecue,” from Main Source’s Breaking Atoms, 1991

Scared of a bunch of water? Then get out the rain.
Order a rapper for lunch, and spit out the chain.

MF Doom, “Sofa King,” from Danger Doom’s The Mouse and the Mask, 2005

And when I smiled, ‘Bing!’ I almost blinded her.
She said, ‘Great Scot, are you a thief?
Seems like you have a mouth full of gold teeth!’
Hahahaha, had to find that funny,
So I said, ‘No child, I work hard for the money.
And calling me a thief? Please…don’t even try it,
Sit down, eat your slice of pizza, and be quiet.’

Slick Rick, “Mona Lisa,” The Great Adventures of Slick Rick, 1988

I got a ill gift, I’m real swift
They be like, ‘Damn, he’s still rich.’
When I send my Men in Black,
Listen, none of them niggas named Will Smith.

Cam’ron, “60 Rackz (Remix)”, 2012

I show more blind rage than Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles wrestling in a steel cage.

Chino XL, “Freestyle Rhymes,” Here to Save You All, 1996

I don’t like a girl that be hanging with a slut crew,
I can’t sport a female who’s crossed-eyed with a buck tooth.
I need a female I can sport when I’m outdoors.
I’m not choosy…I got a rep to look out for.

Lord Finesse, “I Like My Girls With a Boom,” Return of the Funky Man, 1992

EPMD in effect, I’m clockin’ mad green
Like Kermit the Frog, sloppy like Boss Hog,
Girl was runnin’ wild…ate her like a corn dog.

Parrish Smith, “Chill,” from EPMD’s Business Never Personal, 1992

Ayo, the arm bone connected to the hand bone,
Nigga, the hand bone connected to the damn chrome!

Sean P, “Don’t You Cross the Line,” from Boot Camp Clik’s The Last Stand, 2006

Fuck the car, I do a muthafuckin’ walk-by.

Eazy-E, “The Grand Finale,” from The D.O.C.’s No One Can Do It Better, 1989

Fuck a medic, we gon’ call yo ass a taxi cab,
Bleedin’ so hard you need a life-size maxi pad.

Ludacris, “We Got,” Chicken-N-Beer, 2003 

You’re insecure and need a blanket like Linus.

King Sun, “It’s a Heat Up,” XL, 1989

Slim Shady: Hotter then a set of twin babies
In a Mercedes Benz, with the windows up
When the temp goes up to the mid 80’s.

Eminem, “Forgot About Dre,” The Chronic 2001, 1999

I got 304’s in 310 on Section 8, with multiple 187’s
Sport a Marilyn Manson t-shirt when I die and go to heaven.

Ras Kass, “3 Card Molly,” from Xzibit’s 40 Days & 40 Nightz, 1998

L is the rebel type, I’m rough as a metal pipe,
Fuck a Benz, cause I can pull skins on a pedal bike.

Big L, “Represent,” from Showbiz & A.G.’s Runaway Slave, 1992. Happy Bornday Big L, Rest in Peace.

Spam ain’t the move it’s imitation ham.
Ham is pork, and the pork is foul.
Kinda like a pig and that ain’t my style.

Milk Dee and King Ad Rock, “Spam,” from Milk Dee’s Never Dated EP, 1995

I got a funny feeling like something was real wrong…
Looked at her shoes and her feets was real long!
Then it hit me, Oh please God no,
Don’t let this ho turn out to be a John Doe…
He pulled a fast one on me, yo!

Fatlip, “Oh Shit,” The Pharcyde, Bizarre Ryde II The Pharcyde, 1993

Niggas running around fantasizing like they’re Peter Pan…
Your life’s a scam and I’mma fuck it up like Neverland.

MF Grimm, “Fame,” The Hunt for the Gingerbread Man, 2007

I make chicks consider themselves widows whose husbands ain’t even died yet.

Chino XL, “How It Goes,” I Told You So, 2001

Put this in your CD-ROM:
www dot Canibus dot com.
You can find me on the Internet, talkin’ to chicks
That was sweatin’ me off the ‘Music Makes Me High’ remix.
I be talkin’ mad trash, tryin to get ’em to laugh.
See, if I click and drag long enough I’ll get the ass…

Canibus, “Making a Name For Ourselves,” from Common’s One Day It’ll All Make Sense, 1998

When I was born, my mama’s pussy had the new car smell.

Royce Da 5’9", “New Money,” Street Hop, 2009

And how ‘bout the non-blunt rollin’ females
That always fucks it up ’cause they don’t wanna break their Lee nails?

Redman, “How to Roll a Blunt,” Whut, Thee Album?, 1992

Shorty, let me tell you about my only vice:
It has to do with lots of lovin’, and it ain’t nuttin’ nice.

Q-Tip, “Electric Relaxation,” from A Tribe Called Quest’s Midnight Marauders, 1993

I’m like an eclipse on a Friday the 13th,
With black cats and Haley’s Comet,
Blazin’ blunts in my driveway…

Redman, “Cosmic Slop,” Dare Iz a Darkside, 1994

Every night I pray to God: ‘Please, no more wack MC’s.’

J-Ro, “Likwit,” from Tha Alkaholiks’ 21 and Over, 1993

Shakespeare’s gone, don’t even think about it.

Dr. Octagon, “Blue Flowers,” Dr. Octagonecologyst, 1996

Tell ya mama to stop flirtin’ boy, I’m not a good step-pop.
I interrupt your little session…and wreck shop.

Bumpy Knuckles, “GrEaTnEsS,” from DJ Premier and Bumpy Knuckles’ KoleXXXion, 2012

Look here: “Mo’ money, mo’ problems,” my ass.
You’s a naive cat if you still believe that.

Ol’ Dirty Bastard, “Pop Shots,” Osirus: The Official Mixtape, 2006

For what it’s worth, I’ve been a hip-hopper from birth.
Try to disrespect, and get your ass played up like a Smurf.

Large Professor, “Actual Facts,” from Lord Finesse’s The Awakening, 1996

Keep bustin about where you rest, and what you own, and what you drive.
So the day some niggaz come for you, I’m really not surprised.

Xzibit, “Three Card Molly,” 40 Dayz & 40 Nightz, 1999

I won’t say I’m the baddest, or portray that role,
But I’m in the top 2, and my father’s gettin’ old.

Big Daddy Kane, “Cause I Can Do It Right,” Taste of Chocolate, 1990

Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is;
I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis.

Guru, “DWYCK,” from Gang Starr featuring Nice & Smooth DWYCK 12", 1994

Brothers ain’t half-steppin…they’re walking backwards.

A.G., “Back to Back Rhyming,” from Lord Finesse & DJ Mike Smooth’s Funky Technician, 1990

Some girls barely speak, but always askin’ for a dollar.

Big L, “No Endz, No Skinz,” Lifestylez ov da Poor & Dangerous, 1995

I admit skinz ain’t a reason to lose friends,
But then again I didn’t know. Sorry.

Casual, “I Didn’t Mean To,” Fear Itself, 1994

Nigga hit me on the Sidekick sayin’ he gon’ shoot me:
Soundin’ like a real groupie.
He a bitch with a heater like Lara Croft,
He gonna get his ass wet like Noah’s Ark.
Got the choppa won’t hesitate to squeeze,
Get his ass cut like a Whopper with Cheese.

Danny Brown, “LOL,” from Black Milk and Danny Brown’s Black and Brown, 2011

I like ‘em brown, yellow, Puerto Rican or Haitian.

Phife, “Electric Relaxation,” from A Tribe Called Quest’s Midnight Marauders, 1993

Ain’t no tellin’ what I’d do for a dollar…
I’m not your father, but guess what I’mma do to ya mama.

Sean P, “Murder,” from DJ JS-1’s No Sellout, 2009

I once caught a bid, I never hit skid,
Never date a girl if the girl got a kid.
Nahhh…papa’s got a brand new bag
And I never hit skinz once they sag.

Grand Puba, “Who Makes the Loot?” from Brand New Heavies’ Heavy Rhyme Experience Vol. 1, 1992

I call you once…you never dialed back.
Twice…you never dialed back.
Saturday morning, live, I’m on Soul Train, talkin’ to Don Cornelius.

Saturday night, my phone rings…
Saturday night, I won’t answer.
Saturday night, my phone rings again…
Saturday night, I don’t answer.

Kool Keith, “Stop Jockin Me,” from Ultramagnetic MC’s Funk Your Head Up, 1992. Donald Cortez “Don” Cornelius (September 27, 1936 – February 1, 2012) Rest in peace.

When I hit the skins they all say, ‘Damn Kane…
You knock out the Bush like a presidential campaign!’

Big Daddy Kane, “How U Get a Record Deal?” Looks Like a Job For…, 1993

I’m from Jerz, the home of: “I could’ve swore I parked my car right here!”

Chino XL, “B-Boy Gangsta,” Poison Pen, 2006

You got a man? That’s somethin we will talk about.
He’s smart enough to have ya, but dumb enough to let ya out.

LL Cool J, “Mr. Goodbar,” Mama Said Knock You Out, 1990

Why is it a honey act like she don’t want to be bothered?
But after the tappin’, she yappin’ like she want her children fathered?

Breeze Brewin’, “Sex Type Thang,” from Juggaknots’ Clear Blue Skies (Re-Release), 2002

‘That buck that bought the bottle coulda struck the lotto.’
To invest in scratch tickets is a fucked up motto.

Reks, “Black Cream (The Negro Epidemic),” Grey Hairs, 2008

See, you’re out your mind tryin’ to face tha God.
Your rhyme is like an empty prison…a waste of bars.

Lord Finesse, Freestyle vs. Percee P, 2003. Video

I’m the ghetto Mr. Universe, call me Lou FerNEGRO,
I push a lot of iron, but I don’t do it in the gym tho.

Lil’ Fame, “Blasphemy (Blast 4 Me)” from M.O.P.’s SPARTA, 2011

And when it comes to gettin nookie, I’m not a rookie…
I got girls that make that chick Toni Braxton look like Whoopi.

Big L, “Put it On,” Lifestylez ov da Poor & Dangerous, 1995 (via ninetynow)

Watch out for the medallion, my diamonds are reckless,
Feels like a midget is hangin from my necklace!

Ludacris, “Stand Up,” Chicken-N-Beer, 2003

Your white tee, well to me, looks like a nightgown;
Make your mama proud, take that thing two sizes down.

Andre 3000, “Walk It Out (Remix)”, from Unk’s Beat’n Down Yo Block!, 2006

If imitation is the greatest form of flattery,
Punk, don’t flatter me.

J-Ro, “Coast II Coast,” from Friday Soundtrack, 1995

Layin niggas so flat, homies think you plankin’,
Only realize you dead when the corpse start stankin’.

Ras Kass, “Holes in the Ozone,” F.I.L.A. (Fuck It, Lose It All), 2012

Used to have a crush on Dawn from En Vogue.
It’s not like honey dip would wanna get with me,
But just in case I own more condoms than TLC.

Phife Dawg, “Oh My God,” from A Tribe Called Quest’s Midnight Maruaders, 1993

It’s important to practice good hygiene,
At least if you wanna run with my team.

Del the Funky Homosapien, “If You Must,” Both Sides of the Brain, 2000

We shoppers, you bloggers.
If money talks, you mumblers.
You try it on, then take it off,
Then post a pic on your tumblrs.

Pusha T, “Peso Freestyle,” Fear Of God II: Let Us Pray, 2011

Golly, he’s just a pest and your worst best friend,
Who mend and rip space-time fabric like polyester blend.

MF Doom, “Biochemical Equation,” from Wu-Tang Meets Indie Culture, 2005

I’m puttin’ pressure on you kids like I’m a soccer mom.

Vinnie Paz, “Design in Malice,” from Jedi Mind Tricks’ Violence Begets Violence, 2011

Player haters be givin’ me harsh looks,
But I’m tryin to sell records like Garth Brooks.

Big L, “Holdin’ It Down,” The Big Picture, 2000

You gotta school these young macks comin’ up today…
I mean to be ‘frank’, they just hot dogs,
The girls are relish, and they need to catchup on they pimpin’.

Big Daddy Kane, “Nightshift,” from Positive K’s The Skills Dat Pay Da Bills, 1992

Never been to Sesame Street but I flip a Big Bird.
And I know “stealers” and they not from Pittsburgh…

Cam’Ron, “357,” Confessions of Fire, 1998

And while you was bangin on tables, I was bangin Snow White.

Parrish Smith, “Rampage”, from EPMD’s Business as Usual, 1991

Abraham Lincoln got shot and died,
Freed the slaves so they put him on the five.

Too $hort, “Money In The Ghetto,” Get In Where You Fit In, 1993